This autofiction is a semi-autobiographical work. It was written in a time when the world was, is and will be, not politically correct. If you are offended by history from the past, present or future please stop reading and put the book down gently and move away slowly. It is the original work of the author. Names have been changed to protect everyone. The events have also been changed for dramatic effect and protect those involved in the stories you are about to read. Any sexual act, real or imagined, was purely coincidental and have been changed to protect the innocent.

These stories are intended not to offend the political, religious, secular, moral, economic or emotional sensibilities or identities of anyone. Please note that no terminology in these stories is intended to discriminate on the grounds of assigned or elected gender, civil status, race, religion, colour, age, disability, eating habits, political leanings, socio-economic background, height, weight, voting habits, sexual orientation, allergies, food preferences or football team. All events depicted in these stories are real and are completely fictitious and verifiable. The author does not agree with the views he has expressed in these stories. They should not be taken too seriously. Unless otherwise stated, the reader is entitled to elaborate details and use their own imagination, for example, when applying body shape, skin tone, and sexual proclivities, or when rendering a mental picture of the characters and scenes.

Please keep the stories dry and out of direct sunlight. These stories should not be stored on paper, electronic, mechanical or any other data storage device we do not know about including haptic, olfactory or any other perceptual modality that has or hasn’t been invented and they should be transmitted orally, tactilely, or by smoke signals, smell signals, body language, winks or whistling. Any similarity to people dead, half-dead, cyborg, living or yet to be conceived is purely coincidental. The author asserts his intellectual rights over these works. Please do not copy any of the stunts performed in these stories.

Those with a sensitivity to intimate relations between adults of the same sex and gender should not read. All sexual encounters were between consenting adults over the age of 18 and were legal in most territories at the time of going to press. For safety reasons, all sexual positions should be performed with a suitably qualified first responder trained adult present. All encounters were performed with an intimacy team in attendance. All stunts should be conducted with the proper safety equipment and appropriate consensual documents.

Do not trust lawyers. Never play with matches. Food cooked in the oven is hot. Nuts contain nuts. No animal or non-terrestrial entity suffered during the recording of the events described in these stories. All inventions described and used in these stories have patents – in every multiverse. Trees were cut down to make this book. I don't have a TV licence. Links to websites are provided in good faith. This should not be used in schools as it contains some naughty bits.

The pronoun she has been used to refer to persons born with baby-baring reproductive genitalia unless otherwise stated; it does not refer to a thing such as a boat or car. This book is a product of its time and should be judged accordingly and within its own context. Cup sizes are approximate. This book is lactose-free and rich in plant protein. The following story has not been bowdlerized; it contains sexual inferences and strident language that some readers will find offensive. Readers are advised that there are scenes that have strobe effects written into the plot line that can affect those readers who are photosensitive. It has not been read by a Sensitivity Reader serving with the Imagination Police. There will also be scientific and chronological inaccuracies. This story contains tobacco depictions. All adult dolls, stunt penes and toys and gellular beings were unharmed during the production of this literary work, and suitable hypoallergenic sanitisation products were used in their cleaning as required by the Union of Synthetic Companions (UniSynCo).